Our information explains how things should happen. Be aware that sometimes you may have to push for things to be done. For example, don’t be afraid to ask questions, or ask for care and support to be put in place. If you need information and support, you can always contact our specialist nurses on our free Support Line.
If you are looking after your loved one at home, there will be support from different healthcare professionals including your GP and district nurses.
You may find the demands on you can increase quite quickly in the last few weeks or days. You might need to do more for your loved one, including:
It can be overwhelming and tiring but some people take comfort from being able to provide this care. Try not to worry about things that don’t matter too much, like housework. If friends or family offer practical help, accept it. This will give you time to focus on supporting your family member, and to have some rest.
Marie Curie has lots of practical information about how to help your family member.
Read more about the support you may be able to get at home, including getting palliative and personal care.
Get help if:
Contact them if your family member:
Read about support for people at home in our booklet: Pancreatic cancer and end of life care. Information for people in the last few months of life
You can also order a physical copy.
“My dad declined quickly. It was a bit overwhelming knowing what to do and where to go for information. I had great support from the hospice and from the Pancreatic Cancer UK nurses.”
It’s important you know who to contact if you need support over the weekend or at night. You can ask the GP, district nurse or palliative care team about this. The GP answer phone should also have an out of hours number to call.
If you live in England, Wales or Scotland, you can also call the NHS on 111 or use NHS 111 online for advice. In Northern Ireland, there are local out of hours phone numbers for each region, which you can find on the nidirect website.
The GP or nurse may give your family member medicines to keep at home for symptoms they may get. These are sometimes called pre-emptive, anticipatory or just in case medicines. A nurse will be able to give them if your loved one needs them. This can be helpful if they need treatment at night or at the weekend.
“Our local hospice had a 24 hour support line which was invaluable – really practical and amazing service.”
It’s normal for families to need a break. Some people feel guilty about this. But it’s important that you take some time for yourself. It’s easy for your own needs to get pushed to the bottom of the list. But research has found that if you take time to take care of yourself, you may find it easier to care for the person with cancer and to cope.
If you need a break, you may be able to get temporary care for your family member. You may hear this called respite care. It might include somebody coming in to sit with them for a few hours, day care, or a short stay in a care home. Speak to your GP or the district nurse about this care.
Ask friends or family to help and be clear with them about what help you need. Support with practical things such as the shopping, cooking or looking after children means you have less to worry about. You could also ask them to sit with your loved one to give you a break.
“We had fantastic nurses coming every day to care for him. However, the 24/7 care took its toll on me physically and mentally. The last two nights our best friends stayed with him so that I could sleep.”
If your loved one is in a hospice they will get specialist palliative care. If they are in hospital and are not already seeing the palliative care team, ask their medical team for a referral.
Your loved one may be in a care home for a short time or long-term if they are not able to manage at home. They may still be seen by the community palliative care team. But ask the care home team about this as arrangements may vary from place to place.
Some people like to help with the care of their loved one. For example keeping their mouth and lips clean and moist or looking after their appearance. Speak to the nurses about how you can help.
The person you are caring for may want relatives, children or pets to be with them in the last weeks or days of their life. This can be comforting for everyone. If your family member is in a hospital or hospice, you can ask whether relatives can stay overnight.
If your family member would like some time alone with their partner, they could ask their nurses if this is possible. Many people want time to be close and intimate in private and the healthcare team will try to help with this.
“The hospice where my mother was staying allowed pets. There were often dogs around that had gone in to visit.”
“Keep a list of medication and other important information for out of hours GP visits, as it means this is close to hand when needed.”
Published August 2024
Review date August 2027
