What's in the 'End of life care' section?
- End of life care for pancreatic cancer
- Coping when you are approaching the end of your life
- Talking about dying
- Your care towards end of life
- Where to receive care
- Making plans about your future care
- Symptoms towards end of life
- Making plans for after you die
- Information for families at the end of life
- Emotional support for you
- Caring for your loved one
- Saying goodbye
- Signs that the end of life may be near
- When someone with pancreatic cancer dies
- Coping with loss
What happens when someone dies?
Dying is different for each person. It is a natural process, but you may feel frightened or worried about what will happen. Ask the doctor or nurse about anything that is worrying you, either with or without your family member there. Dying is often very peaceful at the end.
It’s not always easy to know when someone has died. Their breathing will slow and become irregular. Sometimes they may take one or two last breaths after they seemed to have stopped breathing. They may seem to relax. Their skin may change colour or look pale.
“We made the most of every day, watching Mum’s favourite ghost programmes and reading ghost stories by candlelight. We can take comfort in the fact that our Mum died peacefully at home with her family all together one last time including DeeDee, mum’s cat, who didn’t leave her side.”
After someone dies
If your loved one dies in hospital, a hospice or a care home, the healthcare team will explain what happens next. Ask if you can visit your loved one in a private room if you want to.
If they die at home and no health professionals are there, you will need to contact their GP or district nurse to come and confirm that they have died. If it’s outside working hours, the GP answer phone message will give you the number of the out of hours doctor. The GP or nurse should give you information about what you need to do next.
Things to do soon after someone dies
- Ask the GP or hospital doctor for a medical certificate so you can register the death.
- Register the death within five days in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and within eight days in Scotland. You will need to do this before a funeral.
- Arrange the funeral if this is what your family member wanted. You may want to check if they had made any plans for it. You can arrange the funeral yourself or use a funeral director.
The GP or nurse should give you information about what you need to do. You can also find details of how to register a death, and what else to do after someone dies on the:
- GOV.UK website in England and Wales
- National Records of Scotland or the Scottish Government website
- nidirect website in Northern Ireland.
“My mother’s death taught me not to be afraid of being with someone when they die. The hospice staff and chaplains were excellent at supporting me.”
Organising the funeral
Organising a funeral may feel overwhelming when you are coping with feelings of loss and grief. You may have spoken to your family member about their wishes for their funeral, or they may have written their wishes in their will.
Some things to think about when arranging a funeral are:
- whether to have a religious or non-religious ceremony
- whether your family member will be buried or cremated
- who to invite to the funeral
- what music you want played
- what readings – if any – to have at the funeral, and who you want to read them
- whether you would like flowers – some people prefer to support a charity with donations at their funeral
- whether you would like to do something after the funeral, or organise a wake.
Lots of people arrange a funeral through a funeral director, but you don’t have to. Citizen’s Advice and Marie Curie have information about how to find a funeral director.
Marie Curie have more information on their website about what happens when someone dies, including caring for the body and religious customs.
Published August 2024
Review date August 2027